Shameless Pandering for Coupons

I was having a very Mad Men afternoon at the office.  It seems the rest of the world was taking a looooong lunch and, to keep my mind occupied, I decided to jot a little note to the megacorporation that makes one of my favorite products - BIC Comfort 3 Pivot shavers.

I fully endorse letter writing because it is both a lost art and a hallmark of a gentile upbringing.  Also, you tend to get some wicked coupons as thanks in return from the giant corporations that are slowly taking over our lives.  If you would like to follow suit, remember a real human has to read your missives; feel free to incorporate a bit of humor and keep it brief.  Likewise, do not hound the company for coupons - say your piece, keep it relevant, toss in some valid praise, stamp and send.

(I especially like to write to Wal-Mart, venting as though Benton, Arkansas' favored child is but a mere schoolmate away for the summer.  I will be sure to post some of my best zingers in the coming weeks.)

For your consideration, here is my note to the BIC Corporation:

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to you today to express my supreme love for BIC Comfort 3 Pivot Shavers.  I have found your shavers to work best with my preferred shaving cream to reduce instances of razor burn.   Lately, however, most of the retailers in my area have moved away from offering the Comfort 3 Pivot Shavers in favor of the Comfort 3 Advanced.  I hesitate to make the switch because I’m a guy and I typically hate change – especially when it comes to my face.

Please continue to produce and domestically distribute BIC Comfort 3 Pivot Shavers until I die.  (Barring natural disasters, falling pianos, and unfortunate global pandemics, I estimate this time period to be from now until 2060.)  I will, in turn, continue to hunt out the last package of BIC Comfort 3 Pivot Shavers that is hiding under or behind piles of other razors at the grocery. 

I feel we should shake hands on this deal, however, this is a letter and I will simply trust that you are a decent human being.  No welshing.  (Sorry if you are Welsh – if so, that was insensitive.)

Please keep up the good work.

Sincerely,

Joseph Putershmidt