Christmas is coming... take cover

Not my tree. 

Every Autumn, despite my better efforts, something big and expensive comes along and drains my discretionary funds.  This generally puts me in a panic by December 15th.  I have a lot of nieces and nephews. Playing Santa to everyone on my list is an expensive proposition - especially when you're the kind of broke you used to laugh about back in college.  Often, I must put aside my one true Christmas passion: Over-the-Top Christmas Trees!


In an ironic twist befitting my unconventional life, one of my dear Jewish friends gave me a spectacular eight foot, artificial Christmas tree.  (She's a real beaut, Clark.) This grande dame of stately artificiality is going to look pretty pathetic with my mish-mash of two dozen ornaments.  Likewise, I refuse to take another red hot twenty dollar bill to the dollar store for a load of craptastic filler.

Don't get me wrong, necessity has previously produced some pretty stunning displays of holiday ingenuity, however this year I intend to give all my homo-gay holiday savvy friends a run for their money.  I too will have a Martha-approved Yule shrub!

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Gift Cards - My ticket to free gas

Gift cards are an essential component of my supermarket 
modus operandi.  Every month I know I'm going to do some specific things:  go to the movies, buy some new kitchen gadget, eat out, etc.  Instead of paying cash for these activities, I buy gift cards at my local Huge Bird (some names have been changed to protect the innocent).

Depending on the time of year, every $50 spent on gift cards earns a $0.20 discount on each gallon of gas.  With a fuel tank that holds 22 gallons, a small amount of planning leads to a large amount of savings.

WOSU's, Ann Fisher, addressed the ins-and-outs of gift cards on her show All Sides today. While I tend to be a gift-card ninja, using the cards to my benefit and avoiding many of the common pittfalls, Fisher invites Michelle Jun (Consumers Union), Michael Hursta (First Data Corporation), and Judd Lillestrand (ScripSmart.com) to answer some of the most pressing questions concerning giving and using this increasingly popular plastic.

Here's how I use gift cards to my advantage:

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What it looks like when I shop

Most people have a favorite supermarket. I'm no different and do a substantial portion of my non-grocery spending (flowers, pharmacy, dry cleaning, etc) at Huge Bird. I do this because they partner with the FuelPerks! program.  The rewards are quite generous and my car chugs gas like a demon.

Things change, however, for the general grocery items one can find at any major grocer. I'm a moderately advanced couponer and this requires that I chase down combinations of sales and coupons. Luckily, in a five mile loop, I can hit two K-Roger groceries, Huge Bird, two Walgreens, two CVS Pharmacies, Wal-Mart, Aldi, and Target.

Because of couponing, my grocery shopping follows two rules:
1. I never buy a little of this and that, only specific items in quantities large enough to last until the next sale (1 - 3 month's worth.)

2. I only shop at a store having a sale and when I have a coupon for the sale item.

Here's what it looks like:
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Shameless Pandering for Coupons

I was having a very Mad Men afternoon at the office.  It seems the rest of the world was taking a looooong lunch and, to keep my mind occupied, I decided to jot a little note to the megacorporation that makes one of my favorite products - BIC Comfort 3 Pivot shavers.

I fully endorse letter writing because it is both a lost art and a hallmark of a gentile upbringing.  Also, you tend to get some wicked coupons as thanks in return from the giant corporations that are slowly taking over our lives.  If you would like to follow suit, remember a real human has to read your missives; feel free to incorporate a bit of humor and keep it brief.  Likewise, do not hound the company for coupons - say your piece, keep it relevant, toss in some valid praise, stamp and send.

(I especially like to write to Wal-Mart, venting as though Benton, Arkansas' favored child is but a mere schoolmate away for the summer.  I will be sure to post some of my best zingers in the coming weeks.)

For your consideration, here is my note to the BIC Corporation:
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Walgreens 8/9/11

I used the last of my lotion after my shower this morning.  By "used the last", I of course mean "smacked around the bottle like it owed me money."  In my epic journey to pay off my massive student loans on a salary slightly more anemic than a school teacher's, running out of something tends to be a swear-worthy moment.

Recently, though, I've started to get into using coupons.  While I'm not - and never intend to be - as ambitious as the folks featured on Extreme Couponing, I'm learning quickly.  To my coupon binder I flew.

Here is how one $8.29 lotion turned into $59.72 worth of shopping:
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It all started with lotion...

Welcome!

Full disclosure:  I'm a couponer.  However, this blog is not simply about couponing.  Today I was inspired to share a discount victory with the world.  I'd wedged a quick couponing trip into my lunch break, but on my traffic-burdened drive back to the office, I began to reflect on more than just today's simple triumph over the drugstore.

I estimate that is spent 80% of my food and personal care budget at groceries and drugstores.  Likewise, much of my entertaining budget is spent on gift cards at the supermarket.  My kitchen is outfitted with items that were both on-sale and earned me discounts on gas.  I develop photos, drop off dry cleaning, rent movies, and get prescriptions filled in the same moderately sized big-box supermarket.

The supermarket lifestyle, for me, goes even further.  I pre-spend for restaurants, movies, linens, gifts, travel, and clothing via the gift card center.  A begrudging argument with my cellular carrier has spawned a renewed interest in one of the many pre-paid cellular service offered at the grocery.  And, though I'm perhaps a bit embarrassed to say it, I've taken a date to the opening of a very fancy prepared foods section of a certain whole-nutrition national chain.

In the coming posts, some of you will find my adventures rather extreme.  I will assert, however, that there's nothing "cheap" or "crazy" about being frugal.  It's fun!  (And rest assured, I'm laughing along with you during the more nutty moments of both my successes and misadventures!)